Emotional Intelligence

Self awareness:

We judge ourselves by our intentions.
Others judge us by our impact.

Intention -> Emotion -> Impact

Emotional Hijack Consequences
- Loss of perspective and ability to think creatively and strategically
- Imbalanced focus on tasks over our relationships
- Close-mindedness and reduced ability to adapt and think flexibly
- Binary thinking (right/wrong, yes/no) creating blaming and victim environments

pre-frontal cortex: cognitive
Amygdala: emotional, 100x faster, 18mins to cool down

Emotional management:

Stop and Label (take a break)

Oxygenate (deep breath)

Seek Information (self first and then others)

Real or perceived threat

Replace certainty with curiosity

ask questions to clarify situation

What drives emotions? (SCARF)

Status - success

Certainty - safety

Autonomy - control

Relatedness - included

Fairness - dignity

Emotional Connection:

Bridging Conversations

1. Start from their side of the bridge 

2. Look for solutions, Label, Listen

3. Understanding gap

4. My understanding of the situation.

Value Cards

• Unsolicited Input
• Positive Attitude
• Personal Sacrifice
• Prompt Replies to Request
• Empathy
• Feedback
• Support
• Extra Effort
• Passion
• Sound Advice
• Vision
• Acceptance
• The benefit of the doubt
• Suggestions
• Basic Information
• Respect
• Warnings and Words of Caution
• Encouragement
• Trust
• Innovations